12 FU**ING AWESOME BALLOONS IN ONE FU**ING PACKAGE
Some say "those are just balloons".
We say "NO! These are FU**ING BALLOONS!"
FU**ING EASY TO USE
No matter how drunk and/or high on crack, meth or crackmeth you may be, you’ll still manage to blow them up (another one. Killing it).
*We don't encourage intake of illigal subtances. But we assume you do.
THE PERFECT FU**ING GIFT
Looking for an unforgettable fu**ing gift? Don’t settle for a shitty sweater or cheap booze. You’re fu**ing better than that! Get your shit together and blow them away with some FU**ING BALLOONS. (See what we did there?)
Can I order a single design?
No, you can’t. One order contains all 12 designs. The reason we decided to do it this way is that we are high as fck and would mess up the counting.
Do you ship everywhere?
Right f**ing now we're only shipping in the US and A. If you f**ers order enough balloons we might expand.
Why so many f-bombs?
FU** YOU! That's why.
What gas should I use for them to float.
(Insert fart joke here)
Helium! Didn't pay attention in school, did you?